Setting Standards 

Today I was reminded of how so many women/young girls will put up with any and everything and call it a relationship.  I literally had to separate a young lady  from her male friend to get what was really going on with her.  Come to find out she is is a bad situation and it will only get worse if she does not make some changes, because as we all know he is not going to change.   I say this all the time and I will say it till I get the point across to whomever will listen.  "You Teach People How To Treat You"! Period end of story.  

• If a friend is always calling you asking for money or a ride to work and you don't feel comfortable asking for reciprocity that is what you get in return. Nothing
• If the man you date was cheating with you what do you think will happen when things get bad in your relationship.  "If he cheats with you he will cheat on you" You set the standard when you allowed it to go on.
• If your boss uses you to do things he does not want to do our sends you to pick up his kids and laundry without compensation yet with expectation. This is a problem 
• If your husband/wife spends more time with his friends than with you,, I will leave that one alone.  I will just say that I would expect if you work all day you would want to spend more time with your spouse than your friends 
• If you have to spend your time checking your loved ones phone .... ??? Why are you checking their phone?? What are you looking for? If you have to go looking expect to find something and then don't get your panties in a wad. 

If you are the receiver of these actions you have set these standards for yourself.  You decide how people treat us daily. No matter what the interaction it is how we respond or react that sets the standard.

I tell my co-workers quite often that I love them and I truly mean it.   I also tell them it is easier to love than it is to hate.  It takes to much energy and besides that gives the other person control.  When you lower your standard/expectations you have no right to be angry with anyone but yourself because you have allowed that energy in your spirit. 

You should always want to get what you give. I try to show everyone the real me daily. I am direct, show tough love and would do anything for you until you cross me and then I will surely let you know.  I don't bite my tongue because that is a waist of time. People always know where I stand with them and I hope they do the same with me. I am quick to correct myself if I make a mistake. I will not change who I am to gain friends.  That is not me. 

For my friends who see yourself in these examples know that God did not put you on this earth to be abused or used.  We all have the right to be respected and loved unconditionally.   First you have to love yourself because if not you will never know what true love is.   

Set your Standards and Stand Firm !