Favor

a (1) : friendly regard shown toward another especially by a superior (2) : approving consideration or attention : approbation

b : partiality

c archaic : leniency

d archaic : permission

e : popularity

2

archaic

a : appearance

b (1) : face (2) : a facial feature

3

a : gracious kindness; also : an act of such kindness <did you a favor>

b archaic : aid, assistance

c plural : effort in one's behalf or interest : attention

4

a : a token of love (as a ribbon) usually worn conspicuously

b : a small gift or decorative item given out at a party

c : badge

5

a : a special privilege or right granted or conceded

b : sexual privileges —usually used in plural

6

archaic : letter

7

: behalf, interest

We all know the saying "Favor ain't Fair".   

 If you have not heard it you have not lived long enough for something drastic to happen to you.   With all that I am going through I could say it also but I don't.   

We spend our lives looking to live in perfection. Who decides what perfection is in your life ? The media? Or the decisions you make while on this journey.   

My Favor is what is it is.  It is fair to me because that is what God has chosen for me at this time of my journey.   I redirect where I have favor.  While these issues with my breast may not be what I had planned for "A Perfect Life" it is in His plan to teach me something. And that makes my life "Perfect".

  My Favor now has been redirected to all of the support that I have in my life where others in my situation do not.  So if you think Favor ain't Fair you need to find the Favor in your life because I have mine.   

Every day I wake up knowing I have the most supportive Husband in the world I have Favor.  When I think of the love I have in my family and know that there are families that do not, I know I have Favor.  

When I think about all of the people that have shared my story with that have called, text, and emailed me I have Favor. 

 So don't feel sorry for me because I have learned in this season that Favor is Fair. 

It is now up to you to define your Favor.   

Grace

1

a : unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification

b : a virtue coming from God

c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace

2

a : approval, favor <stayed in his good graces>

b archaic : mercy, pardon

c : a special favor : privilege <each in his place, by right, notgrace, shall rule his heritage — Rudyard Kipling>

d : disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency

e : a temporary exemption : reprieve

3

a : a charming or attractive trait or characteristic

b : a pleasing appearance or effect : charm <all the growth of youth — John Buchan>

c : ease and suppleness of movement or bearing

4

—used as a title of address or reference for a duke, a duchess, or an archbishop

5

: a short prayer at a meal asking a blessing or giving thanks

I give this definition for you to choose what Grace means to you on a daily basis.   I have had a very rough last month.   It started before last month but I will give you the short version and what Grace means to me.

If you have read any of my post you know that I had a biopsy in Nov of 2011 before a hysterectomy.  With that biopsy I was told I would have to have them every 4 to 6 months.

After being the plus one for my friend at the breast cancer support group I knew it was time for my regular biopsy.   On April 16th I had my mammogram as usual.   This would be a change I would mark for the rest of my life.   On the following Thurs I was asked to come back down to have a diagnostic exam..  A more detail look at my right breast.  I was then asked to go to the room and sit while the radiologist looks at my pictures to see if more were needed.  I sit in this room knowing that this would be the beginning of something I was not ready for. 

After ten very agonizing minutes the nurse comes back and says" Can you do a ultrasound today?"   I was thinking to myself "Sure that is what I want to be doing today!"  She said if you could wait 30 minutes we can fit you in.   FYI  I work at a Dr's office, when we work someone in that means something is not right and they want to see it STAT !  .. I politely told her I needed to step away from the situation.  I needed to go talk to my Dr.  I would come back in thirty minutes.  

My Doctor is the most caring, compassionate and giving person I have EVER worked for.  I am there because I believe in her and I would do anything for her.   She was waiting on me when I came back to the office. She could see the concern in my eyes and she gave me time to calm my nerves and went back down for the ultrasound.   I had taken my meds so I was calmer so I was more prepared.

After the diagnostic showed places on both breast my doctor call a specialist and she saw me that day to do a bedside ultrasound and explained what they saw.  I will say that is one of the perks of working for a Doctor who has a great relationship with her colleagues.   
From there I have had both Diagnostic and MRI led biopsies.   I would not wish the MRI Biopsy on anyone. I cried during the entire 4 hours.  Not from the pain but from just being poked on for the last month.  Then I felt His Grace take over me. I could not imagine what other women go through or what my cousin or co worker went through this past year.  I only know that His Grace sustains me and what ever this has for me it has for me.  I only ask you to get your mammograms and be persistent if you feel something.  I did not but I am blessed that I have a family of co workers, family and friends that cover me with love even when I don't think I deserve it.   I am in this season for a reason, to learn grow and share. And that is what I will do.